pebble

This is the cutest pattern ever. I've heard that boy patterns are much harder to come by, but this was a nice start to the search. Inspired by brooklyntweed's Cobblestone sweater, Nikol Lohr has made this pattern available on her website. It is very easy to follow and was a quick knit - even though I was knitting in roughly 5 minute chunks (this is all Milo really allows me right now). And this is officially my first knitting project post-birth.

I used up my remaining Luxury Donegal Tweed yarn, though I promise to never be the woman who wears her vest at the same time her son does. I knit the pattern with a 5mm needle, hoping to make a 6 month old size, which I think I got (Milo can't model it just yet, so here's hoping he doesn't explode in size before fall gets here). Overall I just love it...so much so that I think there will be another in Milo's future. 

dear dad, a month later

(I started this post while having comtractions on Father's Day...and am just finishing it now.)

While Jay is on the cusp of being a dad again, it's time to celebrate my own dad.

Years ago my mom sent me this photobooth photo, and I instantly remembered all the details of when we had it taken. I was 6 years old, and my family of 4 was traveling by train to Chapleau, Ontario. We boarded the train at Union Station around midnight, but my Dad and I needed candy. Yes, candy (and now at 35 and 65, some things never change). So we set out into the station to track down treats for the long trip ahead. And although this part surprises me, I distinctly remember getting these photos taken. Spending money on candy is easy, but my Dad isn't one for frivilous expenses like photobooth photos. But this night he was and to my great luck, I have the photo and memory to always remind me of our candy run.

My Dad is ice cream, chocolate raisins and Coke. My Dad nurtures us with food and practical advice, and taught us that making a house a home is important and possible wherever you are (my parents have lived in 13 houses the last time I counted). He is the best gardener I know and he is the first person I ask whenever I have dilemmas around the house. He is Santa with a hint of Mrs. Claus, because there is nothing more fun than starting Christmas morning with cheese biscuits and chocolates at the same time. On the day I got married, in an uncharacteristic move just like the photobooth photo - my Dad picked out the most perfect pair of stud diamond earrings as a gift and made sure he gave them to me while I was getting dressed (I should mention, I never wear jewelry yet my Dad knew exactly what I would like). And two of the most important life lessons have come from my Dad: one, he taught me the value of money by explaining things like mortgages and taking me grocery shopping as soon as I could talk, and two, never go to bed angry. My own marriage benefits from these lessons each and every day.

So, happy belated Father's Day Dad. I'm a lucky, lucky daughter. And thankully I've learned a thing or two about hairstyles since we had our photo taken in 1980.

score

What's a girl to do when she is told not to carry anything heavier than her baby for 6 weeks, but she passes these two awesome chairs on the street? Forget the medical advice of course - I mean, look at these chairs!

I was on my way to pick up Sadie from her day camp (which is an almost one hour walk round trip, I'm certainly getting exercise) when I saw these chairs being put out on the curb. I didn't even hesitate - I asked if they meant to get rid of them and then promised I'd get both on my way back with Sadie. So the plan I devised was this: Sadie would push Milo's stroller and I would carry the two chairs.  And it worked, although my incision might not be too happy about it.  Who cares - look at these chairs!

thank you

You know how there are friends that, without question, will go above and beyond to help you? Well, we have a friend like that and she was a lifesaver around Milo's birth. So, as a token of our thanks and with a little help from Sadie, I made these name mini-quilts for her two boys. (Sadie is responsible for the colour and fabric choices and I've heard her choices were spot on!) 

With Sadie I had a tough time staying positive in the first few weeks, but this time I've learned quickly that having small hand projects really helps my mood. Embroidery and knitting are made for the early weeks with a newborn - easily picked up and put down, they allow for a little "making" satisfaction and give me something else to focus on other than how long Milo is sleeping...or not. And really, there's nothing like having a baby dozing peacefully in your lap while you make a stitch or two. It's downright heavenly.

(And P.S.: thank you so much for the wonderful and welcoming comments for Milo.  You guys are great!)

the official story

I won't make it graphic, and I will try to make it brief. But I will explain how the little guy came into the world, despite my best efforts at a VBAC.

Unlike Sadie's birth, the initial labour was quick. Contractions started around 5am Sunday morning, and we got to the hospital by 8:30 and I was 5cm dilated. The next few hours were spent getting to 10cm, which was more painful than last time, as every contraction was in my back and they were doubling up so that I only got relief before every 3rd contraction. I asked for an epidural near 8cm, my midwife broke my waters to see if baby's head would drop more, and the epidural finally arrived just as I had hit 10cm. Needing the relief and knowing the head was still in the same position (which was starting to sound awfully familiar) I was given the epidural - a fairly light dose - and allowed to rest as my contractions kept coming (they didn't give me anything extra because my contractions were strong and were not slowed down by the epidural). Two hours passed like this and still the baby's head was in the same position. Next step? Real pushing. The OB gave me one hour to push, hoping to see some advancement in the baby's head position. With the excellent help of my midwives and the L&D nurses, I pushed for that hour and not a minute less. But when the hour was up, the baby's head was still in the same spot. Deja vu really, because this is just what happened with Sadie. No matter how hard I tried or how strong my contractions were, my babies just don't get past a certain point in my pelvis.

The medical diagnosis with Sadie's C-Section was CPD - meaning, my pelvis is too small (or abnormally shaped, oh my!) for delivery. But this diagnosis is used all the time, and 65% of women go on to deliver their next child the old fashioned way. I figured I had a good chance of being the norm, but as my midwife now tells me, I'm only the second woman in her experience to truly have CPD. And I have been told flatly - if I have another child, it's straight to the operating table for me.

At least now I know. Recovery is the pits, but Milo is happy. Thank goodness it's 2009 (and 2004) as Jay likes to mention. As for me, I figure there's no point dwelling on what would have happened if we lived 100 years ago. I'll just focus on the fact that my body can incubate healthy babies and feed them once they arrive (and feed they do - Milo has gained 2 ounces a day since he was born, I kid you not).

So that's the story of my little Gemini. Obligatory cute photo and all.

the solstice with the mostest

June 21st: Summer Solstice, Father's Day, and our 6th Wedding Anniversary. But the most important of all? It's the day Milo was born.

I'll save the labour story for another time (it involves another c-section) because all that matters now is that we're happy and we're home. Milo is a healthy little guy and looks just like Sadie did as a baby. He was by far the best Father's Day present Jay could ever get. I think the 3 of us are still in shock that we have a little boy, but we are so excited to start this adventure. Speaking of adventure, Milo just squealed. Gotta go kiss the newest love of my life.

Milo Lamb Kronenwald. Born June 21st, 2009, 5:11pm. 8 pounds, 4 ounces.

distractions

In my efforts to stay busy - and distracted - I decided to make a curtain for our closet.  The biggest bedroom in our house was a joint studio until 2 months ago, and we've never got around to sanding and repainting the closet door in there.  But staring at a messy closet makes my head hurt, so I figured why not tackle this now?

Natural linen would have been my first choice, but I didn't have a big enough piece and I'm in a use-what-you-have phase right now (and should be for my whole mat leave).  I did have dark red dupioni silk that was big enough, but the look was way too boudoir.  So, I started randomly piecing together fabrics I liked.  It's a bit cutesy, but all the colours are right for the room and even Jay doesn't mind it.  Plus it covers up the mess behind it and makes me feel more relaxed.  I'll be spending a lot of time in the rocking chair right next to it, so the fabrics will make me happy.  Patchwork rarely goes wrong.

And the following photo is the other side of our closet, just above the makeshift change table we set up (a wooden desk filled with baby things).  I hadn't really noticed the contrast of lamb mobile to pin-up girl, but now it makes me laugh.  Figures we wouldn't notice, it took us long enough to move her from the kitchen to a more private space (Sadie used to say it was a picture of me).  Though privacy is soon going to be relative - we're sharing our bedroom with the new baby for as long as we can handle it so that we hold on to studio space. A small house always means reconsidering function.  Luckily, we enjoy all the experiments...just not painting closet doors.

Oh, and luckily babies don't read either.  We hung my little samplers above the bed.  I like seeing them together and it just seemed like the appropriate spot, if you ignore the whole baby component.  This is definitely a room I can spend a lot of time in, a phase which should be starting any day now.

d day

Huh.

It's my own fault for thinking this baby would come early like Sadie did. I guess he/she is pretty happy in there and feels no rush to meet the world. I'm doing my best to distract myself, but it's hard. I need Jay and Sadie to get home because the cats - as charming as they are - just can't keep me occupied. And I think we all deserve a dinner out tonight. I mean, today is a due date. Surely we're allowed to celebrate, even if baby doesn't make a debut.

stitches in time

It's funny. When I was pulling together my work, I felt that these little samplers were my indulgence - something that only I liked. I thought I was somehow "sneaking" them into the gallery show. But the beauty of sharing your work with the outside world is that you are reminded that what intrigues you the most is generally what resonates with others. And this small reminder keeps me going, and makes me feel that getting my ideas out onto physical surfaces is neither fruitless, nor meant for me alone.

Of course, there is a wealth of work out there that is exploring similar themes and materials, and I am inspired by it all. Here are two Flickr groups devoted to "subversive" needlework: Phat Quarter and Subversive Cross-Stitch (the latter being started for people to show their completed SCS kit work, but now it includes work that is original). A particular favourite of mine is this quote sampler, taken from Parker Posey's character in "Waiting for Guffman" (would Jay ever love to have that on our wall) and though it's not a sampler, this piece is wonderful. And thanks to this great new blog discovery (and check out her entire blog, you won't be disappointed!), I've been introduced to Joetta Maue and her fantastic fibre work.

So much inspiration out there, and never enough time in the day. I think I just might go pick up a needle and thread - late pregnancy carpal tunnel syndrome be damned!

reading roundup

I keep getting behind in writing about the books I'm reading. So again, I'm going to attempt some fairly quick reviews.

The Story of a Widow, by Musharraf Ali Farooqi: a beautiful cover and an intriguing premise, but I felt the whole way through that something was missing. I loved the setting and looked forward to exploring widowhood in another culture, yet I could not fully understand the widow's motivations first for remarrying and second for standing by her new husband. It didn't seem like the motivation was love (as her new husband symbolized "liberation" more than anything) but given Mona's status, it never seemed like societal expectations were the culprit either. The writing was clean and delightful to read, I just can't say that the story worked for me. The motivations were unclear, and in more characters than just Mona. Her daughters left me equally confused.

Swimming in the Ocean, by Catherine Jenkins: it took me two attempts to get into this novel, but I'm glad I did. This is a novel written by a poet, and I was worried that my foggy, pregnant brain wouldn't be able to follow the prose. Luckily I wasn't as far gone as I imagined and I quite enjoyed the meandering, confessional writing. In truth, I have no idea if the character was diagnosed with HIV or not, but it didn't even matter. I generally enjoy this style of writing and I will happily forgive many quirks. This book was refreshing, thought-provoking and satisfying. And it's the 11th novel for my Canadian Challenge (I better get through 2 more in time for July 1st!)

A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from my Kitchen Table, by Molly Wizenberg: what else can I say that a gazillion bloggers haven't already said? This book was downright lovely. I've only checked out Orangette a few times, but knowing that the author took off to Paris after her father passed away and decided to write about food (her true love) was enough to inspire me to pick up her book (I mean, come on - she went to live in Paris). The cover is lovely, the recipes mouth-watering and the writing personal enough without being indulgent. I have never read about food while in bed, and it was so wonderful to slip off into sleep thinking about slow-roasted tomatoes or Pistachio Cake. I was quite sad when I finished the book, but I've passed it to my Mom who already started reading it before she even left my house. So in one word: charming. And highly recommended.

Currently I'm enjoying A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but I think I may have to redirect my reading to something Canadian. July 1st isn't that far away, and I've got a 6 to 7 to 8 pound obstacle about to enter the scene.