score

What's a girl to do when she is told not to carry anything heavier than her baby for 6 weeks, but she passes these two awesome chairs on the street? Forget the medical advice of course - I mean, look at these chairs!

I was on my way to pick up Sadie from her day camp (which is an almost one hour walk round trip, I'm certainly getting exercise) when I saw these chairs being put out on the curb. I didn't even hesitate - I asked if they meant to get rid of them and then promised I'd get both on my way back with Sadie. So the plan I devised was this: Sadie would push Milo's stroller and I would carry the two chairs.  And it worked, although my incision might not be too happy about it.  Who cares - look at these chairs!

thank you

You know how there are friends that, without question, will go above and beyond to help you? Well, we have a friend like that and she was a lifesaver around Milo's birth. So, as a token of our thanks and with a little help from Sadie, I made these name mini-quilts for her two boys. (Sadie is responsible for the colour and fabric choices and I've heard her choices were spot on!) 

With Sadie I had a tough time staying positive in the first few weeks, but this time I've learned quickly that having small hand projects really helps my mood. Embroidery and knitting are made for the early weeks with a newborn - easily picked up and put down, they allow for a little "making" satisfaction and give me something else to focus on other than how long Milo is sleeping...or not. And really, there's nothing like having a baby dozing peacefully in your lap while you make a stitch or two. It's downright heavenly.

(And P.S.: thank you so much for the wonderful and welcoming comments for Milo.  You guys are great!)

the official story

I won't make it graphic, and I will try to make it brief. But I will explain how the little guy came into the world, despite my best efforts at a VBAC.

Unlike Sadie's birth, the initial labour was quick. Contractions started around 5am Sunday morning, and we got to the hospital by 8:30 and I was 5cm dilated. The next few hours were spent getting to 10cm, which was more painful than last time, as every contraction was in my back and they were doubling up so that I only got relief before every 3rd contraction. I asked for an epidural near 8cm, my midwife broke my waters to see if baby's head would drop more, and the epidural finally arrived just as I had hit 10cm. Needing the relief and knowing the head was still in the same position (which was starting to sound awfully familiar) I was given the epidural - a fairly light dose - and allowed to rest as my contractions kept coming (they didn't give me anything extra because my contractions were strong and were not slowed down by the epidural). Two hours passed like this and still the baby's head was in the same position. Next step? Real pushing. The OB gave me one hour to push, hoping to see some advancement in the baby's head position. With the excellent help of my midwives and the L&D nurses, I pushed for that hour and not a minute less. But when the hour was up, the baby's head was still in the same spot. Deja vu really, because this is just what happened with Sadie. No matter how hard I tried or how strong my contractions were, my babies just don't get past a certain point in my pelvis.

The medical diagnosis with Sadie's C-Section was CPD - meaning, my pelvis is too small (or abnormally shaped, oh my!) for delivery. But this diagnosis is used all the time, and 65% of women go on to deliver their next child the old fashioned way. I figured I had a good chance of being the norm, but as my midwife now tells me, I'm only the second woman in her experience to truly have CPD. And I have been told flatly - if I have another child, it's straight to the operating table for me.

At least now I know. Recovery is the pits, but Milo is happy. Thank goodness it's 2009 (and 2004) as Jay likes to mention. As for me, I figure there's no point dwelling on what would have happened if we lived 100 years ago. I'll just focus on the fact that my body can incubate healthy babies and feed them once they arrive (and feed they do - Milo has gained 2 ounces a day since he was born, I kid you not).

So that's the story of my little Gemini. Obligatory cute photo and all.

the solstice with the mostest

June 21st: Summer Solstice, Father's Day, and our 6th Wedding Anniversary. But the most important of all? It's the day Milo was born.

I'll save the labour story for another time (it involves another c-section) because all that matters now is that we're happy and we're home. Milo is a healthy little guy and looks just like Sadie did as a baby. He was by far the best Father's Day present Jay could ever get. I think the 3 of us are still in shock that we have a little boy, but we are so excited to start this adventure. Speaking of adventure, Milo just squealed. Gotta go kiss the newest love of my life.

Milo Lamb Kronenwald. Born June 21st, 2009, 5:11pm. 8 pounds, 4 ounces.

distractions

In my efforts to stay busy - and distracted - I decided to make a curtain for our closet.  The biggest bedroom in our house was a joint studio until 2 months ago, and we've never got around to sanding and repainting the closet door in there.  But staring at a messy closet makes my head hurt, so I figured why not tackle this now?

Natural linen would have been my first choice, but I didn't have a big enough piece and I'm in a use-what-you-have phase right now (and should be for my whole mat leave).  I did have dark red dupioni silk that was big enough, but the look was way too boudoir.  So, I started randomly piecing together fabrics I liked.  It's a bit cutesy, but all the colours are right for the room and even Jay doesn't mind it.  Plus it covers up the mess behind it and makes me feel more relaxed.  I'll be spending a lot of time in the rocking chair right next to it, so the fabrics will make me happy.  Patchwork rarely goes wrong.

And the following photo is the other side of our closet, just above the makeshift change table we set up (a wooden desk filled with baby things).  I hadn't really noticed the contrast of lamb mobile to pin-up girl, but now it makes me laugh.  Figures we wouldn't notice, it took us long enough to move her from the kitchen to a more private space (Sadie used to say it was a picture of me).  Though privacy is soon going to be relative - we're sharing our bedroom with the new baby for as long as we can handle it so that we hold on to studio space. A small house always means reconsidering function.  Luckily, we enjoy all the experiments...just not painting closet doors.

Oh, and luckily babies don't read either.  We hung my little samplers above the bed.  I like seeing them together and it just seemed like the appropriate spot, if you ignore the whole baby component.  This is definitely a room I can spend a lot of time in, a phase which should be starting any day now.

d day

Huh.

It's my own fault for thinking this baby would come early like Sadie did. I guess he/she is pretty happy in there and feels no rush to meet the world. I'm doing my best to distract myself, but it's hard. I need Jay and Sadie to get home because the cats - as charming as they are - just can't keep me occupied. And I think we all deserve a dinner out tonight. I mean, today is a due date. Surely we're allowed to celebrate, even if baby doesn't make a debut.

stitches in time

It's funny. When I was pulling together my work, I felt that these little samplers were my indulgence - something that only I liked. I thought I was somehow "sneaking" them into the gallery show. But the beauty of sharing your work with the outside world is that you are reminded that what intrigues you the most is generally what resonates with others. And this small reminder keeps me going, and makes me feel that getting my ideas out onto physical surfaces is neither fruitless, nor meant for me alone.

Of course, there is a wealth of work out there that is exploring similar themes and materials, and I am inspired by it all. Here are two Flickr groups devoted to "subversive" needlework: Phat Quarter and Subversive Cross-Stitch (the latter being started for people to show their completed SCS kit work, but now it includes work that is original). A particular favourite of mine is this quote sampler, taken from Parker Posey's character in "Waiting for Guffman" (would Jay ever love to have that on our wall) and though it's not a sampler, this piece is wonderful. And thanks to this great new blog discovery (and check out her entire blog, you won't be disappointed!), I've been introduced to Joetta Maue and her fantastic fibre work.

So much inspiration out there, and never enough time in the day. I think I just might go pick up a needle and thread - late pregnancy carpal tunnel syndrome be damned!

reading roundup

I keep getting behind in writing about the books I'm reading. So again, I'm going to attempt some fairly quick reviews.

The Story of a Widow, by Musharraf Ali Farooqi: a beautiful cover and an intriguing premise, but I felt the whole way through that something was missing. I loved the setting and looked forward to exploring widowhood in another culture, yet I could not fully understand the widow's motivations first for remarrying and second for standing by her new husband. It didn't seem like the motivation was love (as her new husband symbolized "liberation" more than anything) but given Mona's status, it never seemed like societal expectations were the culprit either. The writing was clean and delightful to read, I just can't say that the story worked for me. The motivations were unclear, and in more characters than just Mona. Her daughters left me equally confused.

Swimming in the Ocean, by Catherine Jenkins: it took me two attempts to get into this novel, but I'm glad I did. This is a novel written by a poet, and I was worried that my foggy, pregnant brain wouldn't be able to follow the prose. Luckily I wasn't as far gone as I imagined and I quite enjoyed the meandering, confessional writing. In truth, I have no idea if the character was diagnosed with HIV or not, but it didn't even matter. I generally enjoy this style of writing and I will happily forgive many quirks. This book was refreshing, thought-provoking and satisfying. And it's the 11th novel for my Canadian Challenge (I better get through 2 more in time for July 1st!)

A Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from my Kitchen Table, by Molly Wizenberg: what else can I say that a gazillion bloggers haven't already said? This book was downright lovely. I've only checked out Orangette a few times, but knowing that the author took off to Paris after her father passed away and decided to write about food (her true love) was enough to inspire me to pick up her book (I mean, come on - she went to live in Paris). The cover is lovely, the recipes mouth-watering and the writing personal enough without being indulgent. I have never read about food while in bed, and it was so wonderful to slip off into sleep thinking about slow-roasted tomatoes or Pistachio Cake. I was quite sad when I finished the book, but I've passed it to my Mom who already started reading it before she even left my house. So in one word: charming. And highly recommended.

Currently I'm enjoying A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but I think I may have to redirect my reading to something Canadian. July 1st isn't that far away, and I've got a 6 to 7 to 8 pound obstacle about to enter the scene.

sitting back

Time to think. Time to relax a bit. Time to enjoy the tiny feet of my 4 year old who is about to become a big sister.

I'm trying to keep my worries at bay, but it's amazing how different my thoughts are this time around. I guess I know what labour has in store for me instead of it being a complete mystery. And I'm trying a VBAC, which I must admit, is a little daunting, although I'm confident it is the right choice.  I'll explain my last labour quickly: 36 hours of labour and 2 hours of pushing, at which point the hospital intervened, gave me an epidural and a steady dose of oxytocin, but an hour later Sadie still hadn't changed her "stuck" position and her heartbeat was erratic. So a swift emergency C-section got her out, and I was not at all disappointed.  Now I'm lucky to have the same midwife, and although I have to go straight to the hospital when labour starts, I'm making the same choices as last time.  No interventions until there is a reason for it.  But it still scares me a little.

My due date is next Friday. Sadie was born a week early, so I'm not sure what to expect. Definitely I'm getting stronger Braxton Hicks contractions each day, but they are not regular. And I have nausea all day now, which only Coke seems to alleviate (I know, what an awful solution - but hey, it's the final week, and I'm not going to dwell on it). I'm totally uncomfortable and I feel like a whale, but I'm shocked my feet actually look normal in the photo above (thank goodness for small miracles!).

So the countdown is on. And as long as I don't think too much about how drastically life is about to change, I'll stay calm.  Sort of.  Keeping my feet up is a start.

(And thank you to Mira for sending me to this beautiful post. These are just the "babies are wonderful" words I need to read.)

finishing up

A knitting project finally done. This has been hanging around since February but my pregnant self has rarely been in a knitting mood. Last week I became determined to complete it and I ignored the carpal tunnel syndrome in my right hand to do just that (I had the same problem/symptom with my last pregnancy, so at least I feel reassured it will go away as soon as the baby is born). And after all the time and small amount of agony, this is a pretty cute sweater. Even Sadie likes it.

I meant to use Wendy Bernard's Drive-Thru pattern, but I got lazy and did yet another bottom-up raglan style. I like being able to control sizing as I go, and it doesn't take any referencing of notes or checking back over mistakes. This translates to: baby brain can handle it. The wool was lovely and soft, and as much as I don't really like variegated wools, this is perfect for a 4 year old who thinks pink and purple rock. I crocheted around the neck and front edges, made two button loops for some very purple buttons, and left the bottom hem and cuffs to roll as much as they wanted to. I think this will get plenty of wear and I'm happy to get it out of my knitting bag.

And as these things go, now my knitting mood is back. What have I cast on? Oh, another raglan cardigan for a 6 month old. But I'm really shaking it up this time - I'm working top-down and adding a garter collar. A girl with baby brain really knows how to make life exciting, huh?