Sunday, May 09, 2010

mums for mom

I've been thinking about this post for a long time now, and I still don't know where to start. How can you ever say enough about your mom or put into words the effect she has had on your life?

When my brother was only 17 months old, my mom gave birth to me. I have no idea how she coped with two small children, but I do know she fostered a wonderful sense of play in my brother and me. If I pulled out a suitcase of dinky cars right now, my mom would still be the first one to dig in and start playing. We played board games, card games, made puzzles, turned cardboard boxes into spaceship command centrals...all the good things that developed creativity and imagination in us. Sometimes I hear myself hesitating when Sadie asks me to play and I remind myself that my mom never said no, and it helps me find the energy I need.

My mom loves to laugh and she came from a family that enjoyed jokes and joking around with each other. Watching Naked Gun with my mom is an experience everyone should try at least once - you'll never be the same afterwards. Humour was so important growing up, and my mom taught me how to laugh at myself, which I'll always need because I can sometimes take things too seriously. Not surprisingly I chose a partner who makes humour part of our everyday life, and he was the guy my mom approved upon first sight. All he had to do was make her laugh.

There is so much to say about my mom, but there is this one thing that makes her so special to me, and that I am thankful for every day. My mom is my number one fan. She believes in me and everything I do. I don't know who I would be if it weren't for her. And the crazy part is that her mom was the opposite. Don't get me wrong, I loved my Gramma and my mom was crazy about her, but perhaps it was part of that generation. However it happened, she didn't instill a confidence in my mom or her sisters, especially when it came to being creative. But instead of repeating behaviors, which is the norm, my mom chose her own path and cheered me along in whatever interest I chose. Confidence, self-esteem - how can I thank my mom for such gifts? And here is the moment I'll always remember: right after graduating university I exhibited my art at the Toronto Outdoor Show in Nathan Phillips Square. I was a student, but won the "Best Mixed Media" award for that year's show. After packing up I found a payphone and called my mom to tell her the news. She started saying something and then went silent.  And when she next tried to speak through her tears, it was the most wonderful message a mother could share. In her mixture of joy and pride, she wanted me to know that my journey to that point was so worth the effort. Words like that, and a daughter can take on anything.

I feel I'm only scratching the surface, but now I have tears in my eyes and am having trouble typing. So to my co-quilter, co-knitter, popcorn-loving mom, thank you for being my friend and my fan. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day.

(P.S. here is a message from Sadie, typed by Sadie: i  love  you  gramma  youre  the  best  gramma  ever. maybe i'll have a sleepover at youre house.)


lamb-things said... [Reply to comment]

You brought tears to my eyes too and make me feel like a very special mom. Nothing has ever touched me more and it's the best mother's day gift I could ever imagine. The mums are beautiful, just like you.

With all my love,

Auntie Wanda said... [Reply to comment]

Dear Samantha: I'm crying right now because you got me right where my heart is. You are a dear niece and I'm so impressed with the beautiful words you wrote for your mom who is also my dear sister and friend. That was awesome!