Today I found my first white (not gray, but completely and utterly white) hair. At 34 maybe I'm lucky to have made it this far without some sign of graying, and I'm not really complaining. There's just something about finding it that has thrown my thoughts into chaos this afternoon. Luckily I'm at home by myself, starting a week of R&R from work, so I can indulge the thoughts as long as I keep busy. (Pause to mention that Jay's alarm clock just went off for no good reason, at 3:59pm. Is that a sign I should stop this post? Wake up? Hmmm.)
The photo above is of a fantastic set of blocks that I was given last year, and it seemed fitting to show it today because my mind is blocking out ideas and philosophies trying to make sense of a pattern or at least a clear direction. Even when these blocks are haphazardly organized, they are stunning to look at because the design, fonts and colours are just sublime. Luckily my ideas and thoughts are all positive and I'm trying my best to keep them that way. It has been a very busy year at work and I've had many responsibilities added to my plate and some days I just wonder if I'm happy with that direction. Most often I will say yes, but there are those moments when I feel nostalgic for the artist I wanted to be, or the designer, the teacher, the something else I may have become if paying off my education and then providing for my family hadn't become my M.O. But as soon as I put those words onto the screen, I feel I need to scream out, I know I am very, very lucky to have a job in a creative field surrounded by people who make going to work a joy.
We're allowed these weak moments, right? Perhaps I'll blame it all on the single white hair falling onto my forehead, and drag myself upstairs to finish some potholders I started about 6 months ago. Completing a project is surely the best medicine I know.