Sunday, March 16, 2008
Two weeks ago now, I took a week of vacation. Sure, the Christmas holidays weren't long ago, but I just needed it. And I made a promise to myself to keep all pens safely locked away in case I tried to write a to-do list.
My Dad is a man who cannot sit still and I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I am the same. The only way I can justify watching TV is by having knitting or embroidery in my hands. Admittedly, the first three months of Sadie's life were very hard on me because she was a 20+ times a day nurser and I would sit on the couch wishing I had a hobby that could be done with one hand (I finally realized I could read, so that was something). But the flip side is that she taught me how to relax, how to just sit and how to enjoy the tiny moments. So here I am, 3 and a half years later and I'm becoming the old, utterly unrelaxed me again. I don't doubt the crazy pressures at my full-time job are partly responsible, but suddenly I'm back to craving accomplishment in every small pocket of time I have to myself.
At least there is one change this time around: I know exactly what is happening. To force a relaxed pace I didn't make a single to-do list on my vacation and beyond making a cushion on my first day off, I just spent hours and hours alone in my studio playing. Many of those hours were spent embroidering the tiny piece above (onto raw silk, so the counted cross-stitch was making my eyes go buggy) which is one of many "unsaid" thoughts I've been embroidering over the last year, part of an idea that's been lingering. And the next photo is just the groundwork for something else but I love seeing old paper quilted. The taking apart to put back together again is such an interesting and insightful process.
But the week was over almost as soon as it began and I'm back to the regular whirlwind of our lives. Perhaps Spring will bring with it reminders to stop and enjoy the quiet moments, the fresh air and happy times with friends and family. And maybe I should spend more time sitting down with Sadie, because really - it doesn't get much better than that. Let's just hope she'll want to sit down with me...little girls can be a wee bit fickle.